Monday, March 15, 2010

A Very Common Journey - I

Preface



    Usually "Preface" to some literature provides glimpses of the whole  diction - its structure, theme, context. However this is not the case here. I am writing something which is to be published in form of posts (not one post but several posts, forming part of the whole) of this blog, and thus chances of restructuring it - the way we do while writing books or columns, rereading, proofreading, and re-infusing meaning to  the words, phrases are not possible. This is just a product out of a sudden Vision, which came only a few hours ago, while I thought to slow down attention to events, events which we observe - of which we need not be a part, - something like applying a slow motion camera to record what we see or hear. Very slow capturing of the events which ultimately hint some Vision. So what will arrive, will be a natural, unconscious flow out of the Vision. I feel I am in the same situation, the way Agyay was, while writing preface to his book - "Shekhar Ek Jeevani". But what I am going to put is not an Autobiography of some one, rather it's  a Journey. However like in the case of Agyay - his narrative came out of a Vision, mine too; and also the way "Shekhar Ek Jeevani" need not be the life story of Agyay, this narrative too, need not have all derivations from my own. I warn readers, who already would have observed lack of literary skills in me, while reading this far only; - please do not put things against any literature standards, and take the reference to Agyay's creation not in a sense of comparison, - here there is something which may not have any concrete substance. Writing bad is an injustice to the language, please pardon, and  I request ignorance.
    In this literature, we have a person, namely Shekhar, the way Agyay's book had, and though he cannot be put to an ulterior standard - he is a very common man, but he suffers an inward trauma of seeking truth and justice - a symptom that most people suffer. So he may appear happy or remorseful, but the mentioned inward trauma essentially settles him to silence. Shekhar is perhaps a reflection of your own, but he is certainly not a shadow, he generates idea, he has a life of his own, but then he succumbs to a silence. His silence is not synonymous to cowardice, he is rather vibrant, but his silence is a period of inward restlessness that he suffers. Such is the restlessness that it breaks him, jolts him, puts him in a state of inertness the way a patient feels out of several days of severe medication where chemicals hammer down charm of life. Observations are good for life, where goodness is aided by it(observation) and , goodness is quantification of the notion of Success and Failure with the later having pre-definition. But when observations perpetuates within, eccentricity is the effect. Shekhar suffers. These sufferings hasn't made him unstable, neither he has become more determined or possessive about the course he takes, actually course is required when some aim is inherent; he is not frail, he has become silent , with ever more impatience for truth and justice. This is not truth and justice in the way decisions are made in courtroom, Shekhar does not possess model for truth or justice, rather there is a struggle for it.
    So this is Shekhar's story. Story, in a partial sense, as the notion of story is absent while I have expanded the vision till now, - it's a Journey, however again destination is not known. I leave it to readers and posts to do necessary justice.
In any case I will request readers to  not to have moral bondage with Shekhar, this will be injustice to him, as he is a commoner; further you will see you will loose  belief over him. Perhaps a hope ...


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    "What can be the meaning of life and lifelessness ?" If you are sleeping, on a floor, some half or one mile away from the Jungle, on an otherwise cloudy, dark night with no one besides, is it lifeless ? Or does sudden humming of insects, bees, glows life ?  Does life exist on streets of an Indian town only, full of people, noises or music ?  Darwin and many other Biologists have given Biological definition of life, but then what can be the definition of life, which appeals to Natural sense of people.  Certainly the biological definition is a technical piece only, for otherwise we needed help to identify animations of birds and motorcycles on computers as whether they are abstraction of some Natural creation or not. Life is something different. Perhaps the formal definition of life is yet to complete.
    Does life exist in a 3 months old children ? May be yes - for if the child smiles it becomes Natural for us to feel good, and if the child cries we come in attention mode. But if we restrict some notions, then the child may appear just as a tool to switch on, switch of our nerves. Yet in what consciousness the child lives remain a question. We are yet to know what can be the notion of life for the child.
    Anger, smile, sorrow, all such adjectives may have contracted meaning. But consider this - what can be the definition of "Smile" of a hotel staff who whenever sees you, give a warm smile ? Does life exist there. What if you are put among hundreds of hotel staffs all giving you warm smile ?
    It does not seem to call Abstraction an artificial process. Otherwise why so many human beings consciously or unconsciously do abstraction. Abstraction of success, abstraction of politics (democracy or what ever), abstraction of enumeration and abstraction of life over computers. Whichever form it finally takes, abstraction has roots in human activities. So one may find life in the picture of Taj Mahal or Tele Vision serials. Will you call a Television serial an example of lifelessness or life?
    May be the word life requires a context which creates meaning for it. But does not life has an absolute context when it comes to our senses when we try to observe Nature? But smile of Hotel staffs or a Tele-Vision serial, which has life ? Why, when I saw my name - Shekhar, on the list of otherwise numerical but then a roll number, on the mid-pages of News Paper, I felt some life in it.
    Perhaps life is plural. Or may be yes it is a plural. It may have broader meaning than hanging on or hanging off, in jails. It has elements.
    Alpna, my poor, not so distant paternal side aunt, who was younger than me, and with whom I behaved like a possessive brother, and twelve years ago when I scolded her not use my bicycle, does she was elemental to life ?
    Or Nanaji, my maternal side grandfather, who used to play Carom with me, and where rules were subject to modification, and who died some fourteen years ago was detrimental feature of  my life ?
    May be they still create the aura of life, though I feel puzzled, for I just have an abstraction of them, as in case of Alpna - I don't have contact with her or in case of Nanaji, he is no longer there. I am confused whether abstraction alone can create life or not.
    The lady, who was vehemently crying in the Trekker, with report from "Oncology" department in her sister's hand - may be she knew the difference between life and lifelessness, but then it is ten years old incident, and so I am inconclusive about what she would have meant.

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(Shekhar is struggling with the definition of Life. The life whose hours family and friends say that they own, Industry says that it owns, Life whose termination and course may be subject to some others fun, which may be subject of inspiration, jealousy, does not have a known boundary with what we call lifelessness. At least this is where my Vision reaches till now.)