Monday, June 12, 2006

Praying for "love"

Dear Love,

I am sitting beside you. I know you are ill for several days. Your health looks miserable and many a times you were not able to respond. I have been busy in my work, and could not take care of yours. I am feeling really bad and guilty for my behavior. I remember those moments when we were talking, laughing and enjoying every moment of our life. Watching your pale face I am feeling sad and disheartened...

It was almost two years back when we met. I came to this place (IIITb) alone, with none of my old friends with me. No one was here with whom I could talk, share my thoughts and was feeling as if I am in desert. True, it is that there were folks around me, but effectively, even then, life was dry and relentless. In those dark moments I met you. Initially you were unresponsive in many contexts, but gradually I came to know lot of things about you. Believe me, at the very first sight I got enchanted to you. You were the real fashionista, always wearing in black embroideries covering your beautiful shining white face. You are marvel of your creators, always smiling and cheerful, smart and beautiful. The moment I saw you, I knew my life is no longer the same.

But, I know you were not just a senseless beauty. You were smart at your work also. Do you remember the day when I got that "Knight's Tour" project, and you helped me for long hours to complete my task. For several hours I kept you awake, still you were smiling and taking care of me. Your presence makes me strong, and I start feeling that there is someone who knows me, understands me and will always stand for me whenever I will be low. You know one secret fact, many of your habits initially appeared too baroque to me, but gradually I learnt that those habits have some meaning, they are important for development of human kind.

I remember my first gift to you, Yarrow. I was afraid that whether you will like my gift or not. But then like always, you were gracious enough to accept my gift. However, I should not have given you that gift. It caused much problem to you and many a times you faced problem while using that gift. However, I think you liked Tettnang, the cozy suit that I gave to you. You looked comfortable in that gift. But I felt that still there is something missing. I thought its better to give something beautiful, handsome enough. Then suddenly I got information about a new design, people were calling it Heidelberg. I worked extra hours to get that gift for you. I also managed to give you a music box, but then I know how much trouble you were suffering in while using it. We used to talk on many issues. Be it news, movies, technology or family matters. Ours was a unique world, and life was no more boring and suffocating. I remember how much happy you were when I gifted you this Stentz suite, you were dancing madly. This was the time when both of us were working really hard. I used to give many of my jobs to you. Some times, I used to get tired but even then, you never showed any grim on your face. You appeared quite supportive and even when I slept, you continued to work.

Time causes change. The discipline of the world is that everyone has to earn his piece of bread. I have to go for my job. I know how bad I used to feel when in morning 8AM I used to leave you. For the full day you were alone. Then in evening when I used to come back, I know you were not able to conceal your happiness. We used to talk a lot, gossip for hours. I still remember, once I was much tensed while doing my assignment at my office. The work was pending for many days. In immense tension I bought that work at home. You dear, you made my job quite easy. You graciously completed my work and I was in awe of your mettle. This time I gifted you Bordeaux. God, you looked like a goddess. Although I could not give you jewelries but still you were very happy.

Days passed. For many days, you were quite alone. I know you knew that I am busy, but shame on me that I could not understand your problems. You were in bad health. I should have taken you to doctor, but every time you pretended that you are quite well. Dear, I should have understood your problem. Now for many days, you are very ill. Sometimes, you are almost unable to talk with me. I am feeling your pain, and I pray to god for your quick recovery. I have firm belief that you will soon get well in few days. Once you will get well, I will gift you new suits. I know I am not a rich person, but dear, lal topi waale, are good people. They do not cause much expense, apart from some carriage cost. Get well soon, I have many things to talk with you.



Friday, June 2, 2006

Certain Chaos

The problem of India is that it loves chaos. Whenever there is need of ideas, thoughts and insight; the tendency is to go in all directions, which finally locks the situation. I am talking about reservation. I have been watching this whole issue for last 3 weeks and it seems that no one is in mood to study this whole problem (no one means, people who are in action.) We are living in the time when we don’t give much attention to our thoughts and quickly put the points coming to our mindset.

Considering the current situation of employment, global scenario, it has been hard to think for me that any student revolution will occur in our country. Last time the country saw any student revolution (at such a big level) was during emergency and then before that, during Quit India Movement. The major student fraternity of India is now days suffering from unemployment. Conventional academics, like science and arts, are not getting their importance. Since technical people, somehow get the grip over economic instabilities, so usual focus goes on these people. So, when medicos (from AIIMS, probably their entrance is most competitive) started this whole event, I thought, India does not have sleeping population. Had it been JNU, Presidency Colleges, Allahabad University, I would have wondered for fate of activists from those institutions. Any such confrontation would have been trampled very diplomatically. (Some people may have murmured rusticate these guys, they don’t study, they are full time craps). So media, although have not debated over reservation issue much potentially, have put news that our "best" students, IITians, medicos ... are on fire. Well, the whole movement started and gradually students across country participated. Thanks to blogs, these events got proper sync. I know blogs are the next biggest thing in the field of literature. Let see...

Now there comes the point of reservation. I have suffered setback due to reservation, almost, 2-3 times in my whole career. In fact, more than reservation, corruption had been major cause of the trauma. The Indian society is highly fragmented, and the notion of caste, religion is very old. When the society lends reservation based on these issues, democracy and its constraints only accelerates divergence from central point. True it is that a socially fragmented society needs different treatment at different levels, but so far our study tells us that it has created only a second order of mind set. Reservation may be one of the solutions to make society appear homogenous, but surely it is not “the” solution. I think the better solution have been to provide free education to children of India, with the prerequisite that standards should be high, equal and yes very competitive. Competition has its own problems, but human race gains from it. I think, it is one of the pillars of social movement. For now, this is the only, stable solution that comes to my mind.

I have nothing to tell about the agitation and involving politics. Arjun Singh (Mandal II) and VP Singh (Mandal I) became self proclaimed chariots of social engineering wave. Also, the whole reservation issue concentrated about so called elite colleges. Frankly speaking none of these elite institutes and industry (e.g. IT) were able to solve problems of normal Indian in a broader perspective. If they have done something then it is the eventual economic divide and social detachments. I will be happy if something is done in a fundamental way.