My Small World

Holding complexity gets inspiration out of the inner thrust from different thoughts. For if you want to move from one stage to other stage, while keeping things intact may require certain juggling and a lot of practice to sustain inherent complexity. And add to it the side effects of the effort which may introduce cacophony; or moreover you come to a situation where holding complexity may sound meaningless. How valid steps of our life is, often requires or gets input from others. And often these inputs should be rigorously analyzed of. This is too big a requirement. More you look into validity of your steps the more you are susceptible of crossings by people. You buy peace by diffusing some complexities. :)

With every passing day, with every day which eventually gets completed ... I suffer a trauma. The trauma of the meaninglessness of who I am. The trauma of really not doing anything which substantially makes thing relevant. Amid this trauma, for last few days, I have started or you can say restarted reading things on Plato, Kant, Russell, Lenin and likes. Will like to write more on them. Will like to blog about them. Give me time till this coming Sunday.

Almost Six months ... The green, lightening green, stem first got stemmed ... something stoppered its giggles ... and the greenery slowly darkened ... became pale, shrunken ... just an inert mass ... full of dusts ... leaving no scope for some one to look after it ... My Blog has kissed though not the death ... but it suffers a feeling of being stemmed ... Its frightening for me ... promising to keep writing ... writing is yet, the best art of the mankind. Hope, will be updating on daily basis.

Got too much bored of Instant Messengers. :) And thus I am quitting that world, the world of Instant Messengers. Some of my IM friends will think that I have blocked them, which is not true, as I think blocking anybody is a kind of cheat. Altogether it was six years of enjoyable tryst with IMs, but then for sometime I felt some kind of suffocation in using them, some kind of psyhcological suffocation. My orkut account and facebook account is just useless one. You can contact me over my gmail id (reetesh.mukul@gmail.com) and yes I will never quit blog world. Till then, bbye.

Some Clips:- George Fernandes Interview by Karan Thapar -- Karan Thapar in his TV programme, Devil Advocate , intrigued George Fernandes over all possible issues. And when Karan Thapar interviews some one, it appears like -- "stupid,.. ANSWER my question". Geroge Fernandes had his great glorious day, when in those days his oratory and administrative role matched best of the country. But then the Jaya Jaitley case, the coffin scam and his constrained relationship with his party members; made him just a symbolic figure of his past. George is now 78, and in the above mentioned interview he appeared unconscious, fighting with himself to utter single words and his health appeared poor. Often Karan had to put letters in his mouth. It did not appear a fair debate. Actually it appeared cruel. A person who was once pitted as possible PM after Vajpayee , who is no Deve Gowda no Lalu , though he could have easily got cool-nice power positions for himself, should not ...

Anything that disrupts my study for more than 2 days, I will get rid of it!!! By the way friends, I will start writing in few days. Just involved in reading some books, so as to prepare for my future course.

tu dhoop hain jham se bikhar tu hai nadee o bekhabar beh chal kahin ud chal kahin dil khush jahan teri toh manzil hai wahin My soul said, thank you! Thank you Amir Khan, Thank You Prasoon Joshi, Thank You Amole Gupte ... and above all Thank You Darsheel Safary. Taare Zameen Par is my kind of movie. And since I really care about it, I will not compare it with Black or RDB, LRMB. Taare Zameen Par is the movie where the tears are not just emotional, they will also clean up your soul. A New Year Has come. Dear Blog Friends, a very happy new year to all of you. Help me, in becoming a good human being. Thank you very much, thank you dear brother Rahul and dear sister Anisha for your patience and calmness; thank you dear sister Nandi for some of your nice points, thank you Abhinav for your phones, thank you world. I will be very very active in blogosphere, this is my single pledge!!!

I am on track ! I am on track of the adventure, we call it Mathematics and Physics. 2007 effectively taught me that the satisfaction that one gets in doing Mathematics, is way ahead of any work human being can do. Of course people get satisfied by doing hard work in their corresponding field, but the longevity of any Mathematical duty is everlasting. If something is a prime number, it will be always a prime number! My tour from a General Physics lover to Electronics engineering to Computer Science to an Embedded System Engineer was neither smooth, nor I got any any sincere help from academia or people surrounding me. None from any of my friends! Doing Maths, which earlier involved fundamentals of computing, often involved stuffs which have no direct use in Industry. For example, I succeeded in getting into Variational Calculus, Geometry of fourth Dimension, and Lambda Calculus, Relativity ; and of course I am on the way to study Nicholas Bourbaki book. But can you write them in...

Finally, going to home ... and for almost 10 days. So guys, I will not be updating this blog for those days. Moreover, I have planned to meet Janki Vallabh Shastri, noted poet, will discuss condition of Socialism in society with people and will watch lot of movies in Cinema Halls!

If you keep on writing, it is sure you will find some improvement in yourself. I have not been doing the same for a while, and I think I need to be disciplined. I have given fresh look to this blog, thanks to the template from John Oxton . Meanwhile, my fast track technical blog, Quickies is getting shape. Actually Quickies will contain my frequent Science, Mathematics and Technical observations, and it will be semi-research, semi-chat kind of blog. Well, it will take one more week to get the shape, I have desired for it. This blog will remain my personal blog, and I will really like to discuss human matters, many thing that I usually do not discuss with people,...and I do not want to impose any constraint over myself ... Amen ...

I was depressed quite a bit as my Laptop was not working smoothly for many a weeks. Actually, till last year my Laptop was in warranty period (HP), and HP service center guys have changed the motherboard, HardDisk perhaps 2-3 times during this period --- the usual problem was system not getting powered up (in simple language the Orange LED was not blinking ...). Almost similar kind of problem started popping up for some weeks, and my brother went to HP Service center, but then the charges were quite not affordable . They demanded some 2500 rupees for adapter, some 4000-5000 for battery, again some thousand rupees for CDROM ... and these charges were quoted before complete diagnosis. No doubt I told my brother to leave Laptop's checkup for few other months ... When I wake up today morning, I saw my Laptop ... and its pale, silent state made be really worried. Suddenly, my sixth sense stepped in, and told me to play with the hardware aspects of the power adapter. Actually, earlie...

So, now I can say --"everything is in place". My backache is fine -- thanks to the roof, the plain, flat, hard roof ... that magically cured my back. My brother's study is also on track, and with time he is able to understand merit of hard work and I am finding that he has become curious towards many thing. Career of my sister is also on track ... In last few days, I watched a lot of Television -- T20, the usual Aaj Tak chirrups, Music contests --Sa Re Ga Ma and Indian Idol and lot many movies(though in bit and pieces). These days, it seems that Electronic Media has reached to streets and on TV set you can hear street like noise. Obviously to make such noise, Electronic media needs lot many journalists where quantity often affects quality. When I was 10-12, I saw many movies and the rate was something like 2-3 movies per day (thanks to neighbors; two of them had video library shop). I think I have to wait for some years from now ... where there will be enough movi...

I will not say that I do not give special attention to my birthdays. Specially, I take some resolutions, some aims ...and, though resolutions do break ... but aims, interestingly always get accomplished(well my aims are not so heroic kinda). This time, I planned to celebrate my birthday myself. Actually, my brother who stays with me, was at home (my hometown) and my birthday was on Saturday this time, so I planned something new for my own goodness. The first thing that came to my mind was to release my project " Tarang ", which is one of my three personal, open source projects that I have planned to work on for rest of my life. Well " Tarang " is quite a bit technical at this stage, and at present it will be comprehensive to developers only. I chose 12O'clock, (the usual birthday bashing time) for its release. And yes, finally I released it ... I really felt nice at that moment --- it was not that I have submitted it at BOOST , or I have completely released ...

God doesn't hear, so I kept telling to human beings, but human beings left me deserted... My friends often blame me, either for being optimistic or pessimistic ... but there lies an idea of being realisitic. Optimism infuses faith and confidence in people, but slight unsuccess often leads to catastrophe. Pessimistic approach always lacks creativity and has lot of resistance to vision. To keep, balance I often turn towards being realistic. I never made much observations, it is time that has tought me, to not expect much from human beings,-- they may be your friends, family or whoever. It also has tought me to stop thinking about yourself, about your own existence and sometimes about your own happiness. ... These all thoughts have somewhere a linkage with a game called " creativity". For me the status of accepting the situation (" niyati "), is the most courageous act.

I could not complete the sequence I have started in my last post. In fact this will be my first post in 2007. I will again keep writing about myself, my naive thoughts and the world I am involved in. It will be hard to continue writing from the point, where I have stopped in my last mail, but the jest is that after submerging my self in complete chaos, I reconfirmed my thought that platonic attitude towards life is though very dry, but it has great protective sense. We all know what life is composed of, what can be the possible forthcoming scenarios, ofcourse, there are lot of strange situations that can possibly evolve, but then still there are always some chance to do usual calculations. The twisting factor is that, though we observe things, neverthless we are element, we are pawn of the whole scenario. Experiments become tricky when we become part of it!

In many ways 1 st January was true representative of the activities I was involved in through out this year. I wake up perhaps by 7A.M. in morning, gave a glimpse to my laptop (I promised on 31 st December to my mother that I will not do any computer stuff on 1 st January), and looked the fog outside … I will not say that I have been lazy while waking up, but perhaps the situation in home was not of much celebration as I have to leave home on 2 nd January, and thus I was a bit passive in response. “Why don’t you talk once with Manish?” – My mother started querying about my friend Manish (we are friends from class 2) who has to return back to Bangalore , also. “Well, Ma! He has already told that he will go one week later on … there is almost no point to talk with him on this issue”… Ma, like all mothers think their sons/daughters as children … and takes no cognizance of the fact that me, my friends are no longer class eighth folks … It is another matter that ...

2006 have been a very important year for me. I will like to compile, illustrate the experiences I have gained this year. I will like to talk about my friends, my family, my life, of course my technical works and above all where I am heading towards (as it appears now). This may often seem boring, inconsequential to the reader of my blog, but then there may be some one to catch the points. Yeah, this time I will like to write with full freedom from myself, :).

Industry teaches discipline, which I think is a trick to get its work done :). I have been doing job for almost 11 months and the bottomline is that I have lost my freedom, the fun that I used to have when I was completely free !!! I am not kinda person who flock with lot of friends; my fun, my freedom means walking, travelling from one place to another, talking with unkown faces and spending time for almost no purpose. In fact I am more creative in those situations ... but alas where is vacation, where is leave ... Whether I will ever get those days, whether I will get out of the Industrial black hole, keeps me worried ... I always played hard with those equations ... where I used to get solution for a system under different constraints ... I am finding that I have become one of those systems ... completely trapped in something I never wanted for myself ...

Life is like a river flow. Some times some leaf gets stuck somewhere and could not flow for a long time. Even strong flow of river could not change the destiny of small leaf. Often stories end without any statement … I am not interested in the end, or in the story, or in the leaf, I am more interested in the metaphor of transition that led change of course. I am not interested in the sufferings or sufferer; rather I am interested in the noun “suffer”. The world is mechanical. Many people say that we can’t buy everything with money, I also assert the same, but then a dichotomy lies within my mind. To get something which is outside domain of money, is it necessary to believe in destiny or you should play your cards tacitly (even you keep yourself ignorant about the fact that you are not playing your cards). Is it necessary to kill many germinating corpuscles for achievements or is it necessary to work honestly and hope for your chance? The words, destiny or hope are so illusionary that t...

... Master to his Dog -- " You will have to bark whenever you see some stranger " ... The Dog nodded first vertically (means yes normally) and then in a shrewd way, horizontally (means no normally) ... Dog is always prompt at food hours ... Whenever we guys used to plan for somewhere or initiate some event, my friend, Pervez Iqbal used to say -- " Is kam ko kar liya jaye (Lets go on doing this work) ". The intent was clear. Suppose we had to watch some film, he used to say -- " Is film ko dekha jaye (Lets go on watching this movie) ". Usually watching movie means bringing some VCD to feed in Compu (which was supposed to be a tool which can do magic for our career). The intent of this guy was simple, let some person(other than him) bring the CD and he will have his cool position where he will sit and watch movie. ... And he usually succeeded ... Many people think me as a very active person, who does not take rest for hours ... and ... well its enough Reete...