Thursday, December 23, 2010

Beginning of Tour - II

So, then I left for New Delhi, with the info that travel guys at my office have booked  itinerary  in Hotel Diplomat - sounding quite a classical name; with really classy images of it on web. But what you see is what you get  remains a wish in the Industry of Hotel, and then it is New Delhi. They significantly charged my office, and the room appeared too small, and some of the glasses (on almirah ) were tilted, almost giving the warning - hey, I  may put you in the company of Doctors. I managed. Managed my stay. Managed to stay. New Delhi was hosting CWG - Common Wealth Games in October, and security services made it appear like a fort. Or may be a Jail. It could be an idea that people may choose Delhi as a Tourist place just to watch neatly clad Security persons in different colors and decorations.
The next day, after giving VISA interview, and after getting cheated by the Taxi Driver or better to call  their management, I then rushed to Ratan's room, near Delhi University, near Kashmiri Gate. I was easily able to sense the environment within DU. The environment of College. The environment of Schools. Stiff competitions, extreme gossips, politics, films, styles, rickshaw and restaurants.

Hums, cigarettes, Paan and Tobacco, Jeans, Xerox machines, Wine, Kurta, creativity and Frustration.There is a room for every possible debate.

Ratan, has been my friend for years. He has traversed the corridors of  Colleges which are way different from mine. Actually I have not traversed corridors of college with the same intensity and vigor as Ratan has done. His journey began in Allahabad, and then at that time I was trying to get into some Government Engineering college. Government college because in those days going to Private colleges was never taken in a good sense - it just meant that you were provided a thrust with the help of money to join the Institute, - and when you do so you never owned the degree. However there was a sharper truth - we did not had enough money so that I could take admission in private colleges. But this is a fact which holds for many a families in India. Further in the days of my childhood, money was not the best thing of world. We were not in the clutches of money neither money was in our clutch. Families were more involved in the matters of custom, culture and gossips about each other which were never fatal or had perishing sense. So long there were reasons to be happy, - and actually we always used to find some reasons to remain happy; we were done. I don't think that because I was a child then, so only positive senses arrived to me; money and economy had never been prime choices in those days and days before those days. There were inclinations towards better life, owning things, but it never became units of thought. In all the murkiness and cheeriness of life there remained some set of "values" that we followed, - may be somewhat loosely and some time dishonestly - but never suppressed those values to death. I got admission into Engineering College and in the meantime Ratan moved to Allahabad for his long wishes to join higher ranks of Governance.






Sunday, November 28, 2010

Beginning of Tour - I

It so happened that for VISA interviews I had to go to New Delhi, almost in a chaotic condition. And I discussed this with Ratan, my friend since ages, and of few friends who are in New Delhi. Since VISA interview was on Thursday so it seemed lucrative to take vacation on Friday, and then go for Saturday and Sunday. Altogether four days of vacation, - four days often appears to us who are affixed to daily cycle of job and schedules as good enough to capture every essence of world. Four days, you know ! So my mind flickered with innumerable ideas - from going to Vaishno Devi to Himachal to even to Kathmandu or like North-East of India . Ratan too played his role towards every unsettling; and we both never amply considered the means to travel. Or may be, Ratan just wanted me to stay with him, and see the world the way he perceives. Some people still ascribe some ideology to me and with this presumption they want to alter me. When I am confused about my own ideologies or when I really wonder whether I pursue any ideology,  it becomes quite strange task for me to confront views of ascribing some ideology. to me.
(To be continued)

Discontinuing Last Post As of Now

Seems time is not prepared for the post under heading "A Common Journey". So I am discontinuing last post as of now. 










Monday, March 15, 2010

A Very Common Journey - I

Preface



    Usually "Preface" to some literature provides glimpses of the whole  diction - its structure, theme, context. However this is not the case here. I am writing something which is to be published in form of posts (not one post but several posts, forming part of the whole) of this blog, and thus chances of restructuring it - the way we do while writing books or columns, rereading, proofreading, and re-infusing meaning to  the words, phrases are not possible. This is just a product out of a sudden Vision, which came only a few hours ago, while I thought to slow down attention to events, events which we observe - of which we need not be a part, - something like applying a slow motion camera to record what we see or hear. Very slow capturing of the events which ultimately hint some Vision. So what will arrive, will be a natural, unconscious flow out of the Vision. I feel I am in the same situation, the way Agyay was, while writing preface to his book - "Shekhar Ek Jeevani". But what I am going to put is not an Autobiography of some one, rather it's  a Journey. However like in the case of Agyay - his narrative came out of a Vision, mine too; and also the way "Shekhar Ek Jeevani" need not be the life story of Agyay, this narrative too, need not have all derivations from my own. I warn readers, who already would have observed lack of literary skills in me, while reading this far only; - please do not put things against any literature standards, and take the reference to Agyay's creation not in a sense of comparison, - here there is something which may not have any concrete substance. Writing bad is an injustice to the language, please pardon, and  I request ignorance.
    In this literature, we have a person, namely Shekhar, the way Agyay's book had, and though he cannot be put to an ulterior standard - he is a very common man, but he suffers an inward trauma of seeking truth and justice - a symptom that most people suffer. So he may appear happy or remorseful, but the mentioned inward trauma essentially settles him to silence. Shekhar is perhaps a reflection of your own, but he is certainly not a shadow, he generates idea, he has a life of his own, but then he succumbs to a silence. His silence is not synonymous to cowardice, he is rather vibrant, but his silence is a period of inward restlessness that he suffers. Such is the restlessness that it breaks him, jolts him, puts him in a state of inertness the way a patient feels out of several days of severe medication where chemicals hammer down charm of life. Observations are good for life, where goodness is aided by it(observation) and , goodness is quantification of the notion of Success and Failure with the later having pre-definition. But when observations perpetuates within, eccentricity is the effect. Shekhar suffers. These sufferings hasn't made him unstable, neither he has become more determined or possessive about the course he takes, actually course is required when some aim is inherent; he is not frail, he has become silent , with ever more impatience for truth and justice. This is not truth and justice in the way decisions are made in courtroom, Shekhar does not possess model for truth or justice, rather there is a struggle for it.
    So this is Shekhar's story. Story, in a partial sense, as the notion of story is absent while I have expanded the vision till now, - it's a Journey, however again destination is not known. I leave it to readers and posts to do necessary justice.
In any case I will request readers to  not to have moral bondage with Shekhar, this will be injustice to him, as he is a commoner; further you will see you will loose  belief over him. Perhaps a hope ...


§1

******************
***********
*****

    "What can be the meaning of life and lifelessness ?" If you are sleeping, on a floor, some half or one mile away from the Jungle, on an otherwise cloudy, dark night with no one besides, is it lifeless ? Or does sudden humming of insects, bees, glows life ?  Does life exist on streets of an Indian town only, full of people, noises or music ?  Darwin and many other Biologists have given Biological definition of life, but then what can be the definition of life, which appeals to Natural sense of people.  Certainly the biological definition is a technical piece only, for otherwise we needed help to identify animations of birds and motorcycles on computers as whether they are abstraction of some Natural creation or not. Life is something different. Perhaps the formal definition of life is yet to complete.
    Does life exist in a 3 months old children ? May be yes - for if the child smiles it becomes Natural for us to feel good, and if the child cries we come in attention mode. But if we restrict some notions, then the child may appear just as a tool to switch on, switch of our nerves. Yet in what consciousness the child lives remain a question. We are yet to know what can be the notion of life for the child.
    Anger, smile, sorrow, all such adjectives may have contracted meaning. But consider this - what can be the definition of "Smile" of a hotel staff who whenever sees you, give a warm smile ? Does life exist there. What if you are put among hundreds of hotel staffs all giving you warm smile ?
    It does not seem to call Abstraction an artificial process. Otherwise why so many human beings consciously or unconsciously do abstraction. Abstraction of success, abstraction of politics (democracy or what ever), abstraction of enumeration and abstraction of life over computers. Whichever form it finally takes, abstraction has roots in human activities. So one may find life in the picture of Taj Mahal or Tele Vision serials. Will you call a Television serial an example of lifelessness or life?
    May be the word life requires a context which creates meaning for it. But does not life has an absolute context when it comes to our senses when we try to observe Nature? But smile of Hotel staffs or a Tele-Vision serial, which has life ? Why, when I saw my name - Shekhar, on the list of otherwise numerical but then a roll number, on the mid-pages of News Paper, I felt some life in it.
    Perhaps life is plural. Or may be yes it is a plural. It may have broader meaning than hanging on or hanging off, in jails. It has elements.
    Alpna, my poor, not so distant paternal side aunt, who was younger than me, and with whom I behaved like a possessive brother, and twelve years ago when I scolded her not use my bicycle, does she was elemental to life ?
    Or Nanaji, my maternal side grandfather, who used to play Carom with me, and where rules were subject to modification, and who died some fourteen years ago was detrimental feature of  my life ?
    May be they still create the aura of life, though I feel puzzled, for I just have an abstraction of them, as in case of Alpna - I don't have contact with her or in case of Nanaji, he is no longer there. I am confused whether abstraction alone can create life or not.
    The lady, who was vehemently crying in the Trekker, with report from "Oncology" department in her sister's hand - may be she knew the difference between life and lifelessness, but then it is ten years old incident, and so I am inconclusive about what she would have meant.

******
************
*******************

(Shekhar is struggling with the definition of Life. The life whose hours family and friends say that they own, Industry says that it owns, Life whose termination and course may be subject to some others fun, which may be subject of inspiration, jealousy, does not have a known boundary with what we call lifelessness. At least this is where my Vision reaches till now.)

Saturday, February 20, 2010

What Hooks me Crooks me !

Am of the idea; to evolve the jungle. Jungle with Cheetah and Bison. Jackals and Fox. Cobra and Pythons. Doves and Eagles. The fully evolved Jungle. Greenish everywhere and no one knows others mind; yet everybody suspects there is some rule, some law. Some law of appearance and disappearance. Some law of violence and negotiations. Of handshakes and pranks. In the due course of judgment Pigeons and Peacock meet, Lions and Tigers talk; they all meet, they try to find the rules. They estimate the effectiveness and universality of the rules and so they create rules, rules of rules, rules of rules of rules, and then this hierarchy suddenly collapses to rules. ... Then the Chimpanzee says - the wisdom of thoughts does come only from those rules which lack any element temperamental to the sudden visuals of the Jungle. The rules of Jungle are from outside.