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The Prisoner

Love, is not just a four letter word. The meaning of love changes with person we meet, with situation we live in and with time. Sometimes it gets so constrained that it does not get even a fraction of second and sometimes it crosses all boundaries. Sometimes it gives us immense strength while other times it makes us feel inert. We often say that human being strive for power, money or similar thing, but then these all things are governed by immense mental pleasure. Love is searched ...
My life is going through a transition period. I am learning new orders and like always my career is moving in a quasi-stationary way. Like many people, I have also lived very happy childhood days. I always feel, myself as the product of my childhood teachings. A nice childhood makes you think good about people, society and ofcourse those who are in close proximity. However this means lot of other things -- "you are now responsible to those people, society". Keeping responsibilities is not easier, and it gets tougher as you move further in life. I will not say that last several years were very tough or hectic for me. I don't think this is the real case, but some times situation becomes vexed. You are not owner of your time!
In December, last year, I went to my home. My uncle (mama jee) had a conversation with me on phone :-
"Congrats Mukul, for , ... ... ..."
"Yes. How are you ? "
"I am ok. Your brother is waiting for you. (Uncle's son. My uncle took much care of me when I was child. That time he was a 10-12 student and used to entertain me a lot. He takes great care of me.) ... Come at least once."
"Yes, I will come. I will "definitely" come."
"..............."
I went to home. But then ... suddenly a pleothra of work related to my subject matters emerged. It was vital to complete some task, which was around the corner. A new order was to be setup and those who were supposed to work were invisible (we call them friends). Well I could not go to Uncle's home, in fact, I was only physically present at home. This has not occurred first time. I find myself not able to full fill minimum of my responsibilities. My Uncle made a call to me ... I could not get any word to reply.
I know with time people will find hard to chew my lines ... they will start thinking that this person is simply irresponsible. I know that I have great love for them. I know that I think about people. But then, I also know that I am not owner of my own time. In a wild-goose-chase for the never ending quest to get "something" (I don't know what this is), I think that I am no more than a prisoner.
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Comments

  1. Vivek Kant IndrayanTuesday, February 14, 2006 1:48:00 PM

    Time is like sand; the more you try to hold it, the more it slips away! (From DCH)

    I believe that a person must make time for everything that (s)he needs to do. Complaining that time is growing scarcer will not help in any way; it will only promote a negative attitude.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Reetesh MukulWednesday, February 15, 2006 10:42:00 AM

    Yeah Vivek that is right.

    Amitabh Bacchan -" ... Now days I do not call any body to change fused bulb of my house, I change it myself. I think the person who thinks that there should be more than 24 hours everyday is fooling himself ..."

    However in this post I am not dealing with scarcity of time. In fact its all about the emotional trauma we all are suffering with this very fast changing world. We may be able to do all of our work in 24 hrs ... but then still we will have to learn how can we keep mental peace. Somewhere I am scared of the way things are changing around me and whether I will be able responsible enough to my dearsome.

    ReplyDelete
  3. CinderellaSaturday, February 18, 2006 5:27:00 PM

    First things first,thnx 4 dropping by and caring to share your thoughts,would like more of it. :)
    2nd,time seems short when you'd like it to be longer yet seems to not end atall when you want it to go away fast...and we gotta squeeze in everything to make sure nothing is left out which will make us regret in the later part of our lives when we sit back and contemplate about what has been done and what hasnt been.The right balance has to be striked.It aint easy but it aint that tough as well.
    Go ahead give it a try and dont be scared,your loved ones will always love you no matter what and will always look forward to and cherish your company however scarce it might be.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSunday, February 26, 2006 10:56:00 PM

    hey..must say, u have a noice blog!
    i have always been able to relate to what u talk..so same here..

    keep it comin!


    vijay

    ReplyDelete
  5. Deepak PanigrahyThursday, March 30, 2006 2:00:00 PM

    Well, Reetesh TIME and RELATIONS play a important part in everybody's life. I guess one need to learn to balance time......U can't ignore ur relations and blame your time for it. Well, definitely will mention something on it in my blog in future.Think what if the same thing ur parents would have said when u were a child?? So Reetesh I feel its all upto urself and ur attitude that decides these things.....

    ReplyDelete

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